I always say I didn't have an awful childhood......but if I honest with myself

I have started this entry so many times, I never finish it, I never want to sounds like I feel bad for myself, the "poor me" entry, but then I think this isn't for everyone else, this is my outlet.  I always say I didn't have an awful childhood......but if I honest with myself, I had an awful childhood. 

***This is so hard because I find myself trying to make excuses for people, I don't want to hurt feelings, but I am going to really try and not to do any of that in this post.******

To the best of my knowledge this is what I know, my mom, Michelle, was enlisted to go to the army, she was the oldest of her 3 siblings. She and her friend, Casey, would go to Salem and go skating at Skate Palace, she met a man there, an older man, my father Julio. They went to her senior prom together, she got pregnant, and decided she would like to be married, to which her parents said absolutely not, sometime after she finished high school, she ran off with him. They went to Vancouver Washington, where they made some friends, my "Aunt" Lucia and her husband.....my father sold marijuana(not sure how I know that but I remember figuring this out at some point). She "mended" things with my grandparents, at some point they moved back to Salem Oregon, as a child I remember my father worked at a cannery and he hurt his knee or something. He wasn't really hurt he was lazy(that is what my moms family said, so I am not sure if it was completely true, but he never had another legitimate job after that) My mom was a waitress, always more than one job, we had one vehicle most the time so we would have to pick her up and take her to the next job. Even when she was nine months pregnant she worked hard, and people would comment how she was so great and friendly, and never asked for help as a waitress! I remember when the Olive Garden opened in our area, she could finally have only one job because she did well enough there not to have to work more than one job!

My dad, papa, as we called him, was an attractive man, and he knew it. One of my first memories was him and I going to the beach and using me to talk to a woman, I was young and later mentioned it to my mom, who was mad, and he laughed. As an adult it tells me a lot about him as a husband. He used to hit her, she was taller than him, but he could just toss her around like nothing. He hit us kids, I don't remember that much but I was really close to my Dad, I really loved him! One time we had just dropped off my mom at her second evening waitress job and we were in the parking lot, my brother Julius who was probably 5-6 at the time, made him mad. So he bit him multiple times, and someone saw this happening, and CPS came to see us. After that they visited me regularly at school and would ask if papa was hitting us, I always said no, but I remember they always took Polaroids of my body, so he must have been hitting us. WE had to go stay with my Aunt Martha for a while one time, and I remember my mom was so sad. They would have fights and ask me to pick a side, and I used to pick my mom but my dad would make me feel bad so I started picking him.

In October 1990 we left, I don't know what sparked it but we left, I remember not wanting to go, but my mom took me to her Sister's apartment, Aunt Tammee, and when my dad started banging on the door looking for us she said we weren't there. He didn't believe her and he just kept hitting the door, yelling that she couldn't leave him, we had to hide in the my cousins closet, I remember I had nylons on, and it was hot and the nylons were digging into my skin. I could hear him yelling for Michelle and he was getting mad, we stayed in their until we went to the bus station. We rode the bus to Arizona, I remember we stopped in Nevada, the other kids must have been asleep, it was the middle of the night, but I was awake. My mom and I went in and had a hot chocolate together and we talked, I found out we were going to stay with Grandma Bennie, just for a while. I remember it was fun, we visited my Uncles in Arizona, we went to Uncle Quate and Aunt Ida's house they got us a costume for Halloween, and had fun. I remember my dad had been calling and one day he finally talked to my mom, and we went home. My Dad drank when I was young but then one day he stopped, he had a liver problem, cirrhosis of the liver. My mom had to go to work one day, my dad was sick, so my Aunt came to pick up the younger kids, I stayed home to watch my dad, he threw up blood and I would take the bucket and dump it, when my mom got home he was so weak we had to take him to the ER where he passed out. This happened a few times that I remember.

Later that school year I was having a hard time in math, so I was pulled out with a few other students in first grade to get some help, it was a group setting but the teacher started touching me. I confided in a few friends, who I found out it had been happening to them too, but we didn't say anything, until one day a girl name Aloha came up to us and said the teacher had been touching her and asked what she should do, she wasn't really our friend so we didn't tell her it happened to us, we told her she should tell. Within the next few days we were all individually called in to the counselors office and asked questions, I denied it, and was allowed to go back to class. A few days later they called me back in and said some girls told them it had happened to me and it was OK, I admitted it. My mom was called in to the office one day I watched her come in from the hall, she couldn't see me, but I saw her go into a conference room, I saw her break down and it broke my heart, I remember feeling so bad how could I do this my parents, they were very upset. Luckily the teacher admitted it was true and we didn't have to go to court, but I did go to counseling, at first group counseling, later individual, as part of counseling we had to watch our parents go to the sentencing, my mom said I had changed I had become colder, mean to my siblings, and was pulling away from my family, very private. I remember feeling very bad. Like I did something to them. The next year I had another teacher who would grab the girls butts on the playground, we had to go to trial for that, it was scary I remember very little about it, but I remember his lawyer asked me about counseling, if we had a doll we would hit w525ith noodles, which I said no, because it reality we would draw a stick figure of the person we were mad at, and then hang it up and hit it with a pool noodle.I later found out he failed to appear and now is wanted by the FBI. That same year my dad's best friend came to stay with us for a while, he was with my dad when he met my mom, he dated her friend Casey so he was a family friend, he started touching me, more in depth then the others, and I didn't say ANYTHING, he would watch us while my mom ran to the store, and I tried to avoid him or ask to go with her, but she didn't know why, I told her months later, I can't remember how that came about, she was upset that I never told her and my dad was furious, saying he would kill him! I don't remember why nothing was pursued, but it will reappear later in this story. 

It was about this time that I first remember anything about drugs, I made some "friends" at the park they were older than me and we would ride bikes together and play basketball, and they showed me pot. They would smoke it out of a can, they offered but I knew that it was bad so I never took them off on it, as I write this I realize I was 7 years old, and I was offered drugs for the first time.....I was so little. I said I have some of that at my house and they asked if I could bring it to them the next day, I can't remember if I took them some or if  I got caught the first time. My mom cried and my dad said he would burn my hands if he ever saw me touch this stuff, They fought later, nothing changed, he had a "plant growing in our laundry room in a bucket, one time a police officer came over because of a neighbor issue and my mom was trying to hide it in a closet. We lived a block away from a friend of my dad's, my dad would send us with "packages" sometimes. 

There were good times, we went to to the river for bbq on the weekends, my mom loved going to Newport beach, she came to school and went on field trips with us. There were good times, we always had birthday parties, celebrated the 4th of July with friends and family, we spent time with my Aunt Tammee. We had fun, my mom laughed, my dad taught me Spanish, he watched Spanish movies, and award shows. We loved going to movies, my dad loved the arcade and we spent A LOT of time there, My dad had a motorcycle and took us on rides along with the neighbor kids. So we had fun, it wasn't all bad.

In 1993-1994 was when I remember actually babysitting my siblings, sometimes it was just while my dad went to pick up my mom from work, sometimes he had to run errands, I am not sure what he did. "Friends" would come over and go downstairs to his private like area in the basement on the other side of the laundry. I am guessing he was on the topside of the drug dealing since often more than one person would be there, but we didn't live like we had money, but I know he used also. I never watched him do drugs, but he always was very red eyed, messing with his nose, and was very paranoid. He was always worried about my mom cheating, he knew she must be sleeping around.At night I would hear them fight, he would tell her if he couldn't have her no one could, tell her we were his kids, she couldn't take us away.  He purchased binoculars and we would park a few blocks from her work. We would get a happy meal and then watch what she was doing, who she talked to, and sometimes he would make us watch her and tell us what she was doing. If he saw her talk to a male co worker he would show up at the end of the night and confront her, sometimes in front of the others, I know that there was at least one physical altercation with a male co-worker. She had a close female co-worker and then my dad thought the co worker was a lesbian.

May 1994 I remember she went with my brother and cousin on a school field to the Zoo, for Memorial day we decided to go to the Beach, she loved it there. During that trip we found out we had lice so I remember we spent Tuesday de-licing our home, I went back to school the next day like normal, and she went back to work, she worked nights so often we missed each other. Wednesday night I woke up and she was making herself a cappuccino, she loved them and got a little machine recently, I said something to her, I was sleeping on the couch, She told me to go back to sleep but to wake her up in the morning so she could do my hair, she knew that I would not do it but leave it down and she didn't want me to get lice again! So I walked by her bedroom and saw her friend was over, my dad and mom's friend were smoking pot and watching TV. The next morning my dad woke me up for school and my whole life was about to change.

I said I needed to wake my mom up and my dad said no don't bother her, but I told him she told me to, so he said We had a fight and she left. I was concerned that my mom left, she had never left us! I asked my friends at lunch and some suggested that churches help out women, and gave me advice on where she may have went. MY dad met me at the crosswalk after school, I started asking if she came home and he said no, I must have asked too many questions because he said I don't think she is coming back Sophia, I want  you to come with me. I am leaving, I want to go to California. I said I know she will come back, I can't leave. He told me I could meet his mom we could go to Guatemala. He told me we would come back for my siblings, it would be just me right now, I couldn't leave them, so we got home and he said Sophia she tried to kill me, I don't think she is coming back, she killed herself. I didn't believe it, he showed me his neck he had cut marks on his neck very superficial now that I am older. I said I couldn't leave my brothers and sister, so he said he needed to show me something but I couldn't scream. He took me to his room and there lying next to his bed was a pile of clothes, he started pushing them to the side, there under the clothes was my mom, he gave her a kiss and started crying. It was an out of body experience, I didn't scream, I just saw myself gasping for air, my mom in her pajamas lying there clothes all over her.............my MOM! He said " they are going to blame Sophia I have to go" I assured him I would tell them the truth they would believe me. He knew it would be blamed on him he needed me to help him move her body, we walked out the back door into the unattached garage, we had a chest freezer, he said we could put her in it, she might be too fat but we could try. I just wasn't sure I could do it but I didn't tell him that. HE showed me the knife it was in a box in the garage. HE said we needed to leave Oregon soon. HE had me call my the Olive Garden and say they had gotten in a fight and would probably not be at work for a few days.

We went to Maria, a babysitter we often used, he told them she had killed herself, we were going to stay with them for a while. They didn't think I should go to school the next day because I might tell someone, I swore I wouldn't I really wanted to ride the bus, I never lived far enough and Maria did. My youngest brothers first birthday was Friday so my dad got a friend to take us to the mall and get him a little cake and a few presents. Later I found out his wife is the person who called the police, apparently my father had threatened to harm them if they did not help, at the time I felt so betrayed that they called the police. Maria was quick to call the state for assistance for taking care of 4 children, because she contacted them the police found us, they had gone to my house and found my mom, wrapped in a rug with rocks in the garage. They did not know where we were, so when Maria called they said they needed some information and showed up at her house. we were all put in the cars, I knew they knew, so I planned on playing dumb like I didn't know anything, but we walked in and I saw my Aunt Tammee she was crying.......and I lost it I just kept saying he didn't do it, I promise it was him, it was her! I made up a story about how I found her on my own, that she was an awful person, I know I called her a whore at one time, it kills me to think I would say that to her family!  

Only little once!

I never let my kids take a day off school, a few weeks ago we spent most of the night in the ER for a head injury, that post soon to come, and I mentioned to Charly she may miss part of the day and Thomas agreed, actually said I should probably just keep her home all day. So the next day he took the car and Charly didn't go at 8, but she was at school by 11, and Thomas had a hardy laugh, He just couldn't understand why I didn't let her have the day off, but Charly and I both agreed she had already been bored and cried a few time before 11 came around, we both need school that day. I am using that as an example because I just never let them miss school......fast forward to this morning Charly walked in and told us how she should probably miss school because she lost her voice, and I agreed, Thomas was in shock!
Regardless of a "sick" child I needed to grocery shop because we had close to zero food in the house, as we were walking in and the kids were all running together, Easton trying to keep up and stay in between the other two kids, I thought I love having all my kids with me running errands,  even grocery shopping......and then we walked in. I tried  to not lose my cool a few times when 3 kids ran into people, or touched the aisle full of salsa jars. And i tried to remind myself it's OK, they are kids, and so many people commented on how cute they were, and there were a few grumbles. And we forgot hot dogs because Nixon all of a sudden needed a restroom so we had to run to the other side of the store. And they all need their own dusters because they are blue feathery dusters and could help me clean when we got home........and wow I am so blest!
I forget sometimes, I wanted this, I wanted kids running everywhere, a messy house, and a heart so full of love. I knew a long time ago I loved kids, and as a kid I thought I could never love my kids as much as I love my siblings, but then I had kids and it was a different kind of love. My siblings have a special place in my heart especially Alex because he was our first kid, a teenager but wow an amazing experience.  I knew as a teenager that I wanted to provide a life for my children that I did not have, and sometimes it is "material things" but mostly other things. Not for a lack of trying from my family but because of our circumstances and my emotional situation I didn't always feel loved, needed, appreciated, or of value. And some of that was my own doing, but I want my kids to know I love them and appreciate them.
Aside from this I just want to appreciate the time in my life that I am in, a time where I have young kids, babies, I will never have that again, they will grow and be adults one day, and oh how that breaks my heart. Last night Easton said " hulk smash" a few times and we kept getting him to say it, he says so much and he is growing up. I pick him him up and love him and realise he is not a baby anymore, he is my baby, they all are but they are growing so fast. A mom in my mom's group, Taylor, posted a picture of her baby and a little quote about one day you will put them down and never pick them up.....oh how that made me sick, when will be the last time I pick up charly? She is getting big and the time is coming, she is almost my size, and yeah you can have more kids but they are all different you can't replace the last baby, my heart will break for each of my kids when I can no longer carry them and cuddle them.
This weekend is timeout for women and I was not planning on attending because when my family bought tickets I had just got called to serve with the Young Women of our church and the cultural celebration for the Temple is next week and I was not sure what or if I would be needed during this time so I did not buy a ticket, and then my Sister-in-law Zoe said she had an extra ticket if anyone wanted to go, so I jumped at the opportunity. I remember the first time I went Hilary Weeks was there and she said something along the lines of we have all eternity to spend with our kids (amazing right, eternal families?) but for this one speck of eternity we have them as children, babies, teenagers even, and then they are adults and in heaven they will be adults, so this is our opportunity, our once in a lifetime opportunity to know them as littles, Am I taking advantage of knowing these amazing spirits that they have now? They are going to change so much, I want to know there hearts now!

Time out for Women 3 years ago was when I decided I wanted another baby. After Nixon I thought I might be done, and Thomas supported that, although we always talked about 4 kids in the future, Nothing sticks out in my head that was said at that event, I thought it was fun, but nothing life altering, but I just had this feeling like we were ready for another baby, my brain could not work it out and so for a few months it was just a discussion, that yeah we will have another baby, while before it was well maybe one day IF we decided to have another baby.....

 I knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom when I was younger, actually I should say I knew that being a stay at home mom is what was right for a family, and after we had our first child I knew I had zero desire to that, it just didn't feel right, and at the time financially I needed to have a job, we had 2 kids (Alex & Charly) and Thomas and his Dad were only in their 2 year as a business, so there wasn't much discussion. I quit my job when Charly was a few months old and we moved, and I struggled, being home with my baby was hard, and financially we were struggling so I went back to work and I loved it. I was good at working, not as good at house cleaning. Then we had Nixon and we went back and forth with full time/part time, and I suddenly realized I was missing out, I started to have that desire to be home. And by the time we were pregnant with Easton I just wanted it so bad, and so we found out we were pregnant and decided I would quit my job, because reality was childcare was about the same as I would make working. I sometimes feel bad that we did it that way but then I think we all have a different path, I am stubborn a lot of times and I feel like the Lord knew he had to teach me something.  Even on my craziest days I have no desire to go back to work, and when I was working part time, or when I was full time home with Charly on bad days I wished I was working, I NEVER feel like that now.

May 2014

So many fun things have happened over the summer!
In May Charly and Thomas went on a daddy-daughter date to School House rocks, followed by a trip to Bass Pro Shop( Charly's idea according to Thomas), and a stop at Tempe town lake!

Then it was Rachel's birthday party at Skateland so since they were on the east side they hung around to go to the party. Charly had never been skating but really enjoyed it, They had to rent a walker for her.....I had never seen this! Needless to say they had a great day!

In the middle of the month we traveled to Utah! We had been planning the trip for a while and were very excited to see family. The Michael Stucki family moved to Utah last fall, they had visited Arizona once during this time but we didn't get to see Michael, so Thomas was super excited to see his brother. On a side note, I love that Thomas loves his family, he isn't very vocal about a lot of things, but he really loved his family, and that is so awesome! Any way, we were also planning a trip because Alex and Emily were moving from Washington to Tennessee. Alex has been stationed in Kentucky but its super close so they actually like on the Tenn. side. So we drove to Utah(that was a a bummer), but we were able to stay with the Stucki family! We got to hang out with Emily and Alex, during the day we just hung out at the Stucki home, and later in the evening once Michael got off work we went to Boondocks. We bowled, and rode bumper style cars, to race. There was once ride where it looks like an inter tube but motorized, Charly and Paityn could drive themselves, but Charly wanted to ride with someone, and the larger person had to drive so Emily drove her tube, and Paityn drove her own tube, It squirted water out of  front,, at other tubes. It was super funny before the game started Michael was yelling for the ladythat his wasn't squirting, to which she informed him that it wouldn't until she pushed the button and she just made that announcement. Then Alex's squirter quit squirting and got stuck so got hammered with water and was getting annoyed. Paityn was doing OK most the time but occasionally she would wander off from the group or quip in circles, which was comical. At the end you have to drive yourself back to the edge and get hooked up but Paityn wasn't quite sure how to do that, so the people in charge kept saying come to the edge, come to the edge. IT was funny. After that we went inside and played in the kids area and video games. The adults went to laser tag minus myself, I stayed with the littles. Poor Briley had an accident at the top of the jungle gym and would not come down so I had to climb to the top and get her, its always funny when adults have to go up there because the areas are so small its awkward.So I got Briley down and we went to the restroom, which Hunter was positive he needed to go in the mens restroom but after some coercing he agreed to go with the rest of us. We used the restroom and decided to get a drink while we waited for the rest of the people. Which was only a few minutes later. It was really fun experience to be with family and just have fun together!

May was eventful for Charly Anne, she also graduated kindergarten! In the weeks leading up to it they practices their program she was very excited about playing a cheerleader part in the program! It was a very cute program and exciting to see her get to perform and get her diploma.

America

I have to start by saying I have a soft spot in my heart for America, when the Pledge of Allegiance is said, the anthem is sung, voting time comes around, it all bring a tear to my eye. As I watch the new at the gym, I sometimes have to fight back the tears, or the small groan from the bottom of my throat, as I hear national news. I love this amazing country we live in, I hope that we start standing up for it, we are the greatest country in the world, and I know people think that's rude that we say that, or they think America thinks we are better than others, and that its inappropriate to say, it's not! I tell my kids daily they are the best kids in the world, I want them to believe that for themselves. To try to achieve all that they are able to, and I don't think that diminishes the values of their friends. Just the same I don't think saying America is the greatest country in the world diminished the value of other countries.

On that note I do believe being born in this Country is a blessing, I have so many things that I could say were not blessings in my life, being raised in a home with a father who sold and used drugs, a mother who had to support her family on a waitress income, a father who abused his family, my experiences being sexually abused, the loss of my mother to murder, my father to confinement and later death, moving in with family that were alcoholics and abusive, being disowned for a while because of my choice to stand against that, BUT I don't dwell on those things. I KNOW that I am blest to be born in the Greatest Country in the world, The United States of America. That coming from a crazy childhood I could change my life, that I didn't have to remain in that lifestyle. This country gives us that opportunity,  I am grateful for those who have served and lost their lives for us, and those families that sacrifice so that we have service men and women serving now. To not have pride in this country diminishes their service, and their lives.

If you don't love America it's OK, but it does hurt my feelings a little when people go on and on about how much better other countries are than the USA, I feel like if it's so great move there, the grass is always greener somewhere else. Look for the good life, we are so blest and sometimes overlook the amazing lives we have, and how many people in other countries would love the opportunity to live our lives!

I have to say that I started this post a few months ago and am not sure what my thought process was at the time but this is something that I was thinking about just last night, so it worked out.

August 12, 2014

Life moves so fast, and I forget to write it down. I always think I'll remember the awesome things my kids say and do, the special time Thomas and I have, and I realize that is not true. I always re-devote myself to blogging as my way of journaling, and then I do not do it! So I am not re-devoting myself I am simply going to write and if I don't finish a thought I will post and maybe continue later, or maybe not and years down the road I will try to figure out what the heck I was talk about.....I do that when I read old journal from my childhood

So much I want to write, my mom's birthday is today ( I miss her so much), the Phoenix Temple is being dedicated soon, we moved! Charly started 1st grade, Nixon is potty trained(most days), Easton is such a booger! Thomas is getting old.....wait so am I!

Michelle Candelaria, she was born August 12, 1965 in Globe Arizona to Mike and Gayle Candelaria, their first born together......and as a mother now, I cannot imagine the loss it must be to lose your daughter. My mom died 20 years ago, and as I hit the age of 29, the age she died, I thought to myself I am so young! I have so much left to do with my life, SHE had so much to do with her life, and its tragic. She would be 49 today, and that to me seems old, but I know at 49 I will feel the same I did at 29! I have a strong testimony that we will be together again, but as I look at my children it makes me feel so sad, I would hate to miss their lives, their first everything. And then I think what they would feel like and that kills me, they would be confused, scared, lost, and then I think we were all those things. I think of my mom a lot now that I am older with my own family, as a child I tried to forget, forget that I no longer had a mom or dad, forget that my life was different. Now I think of her when I have a baby, when my kids have a birthday party, at every holiday, on her birthday, and on the anniversary of her death. I am happy that she is happy now, and can no longer suffer pain or heartache.

The Phoenix Temple open house/dedication was announced today. I am so excited, excited to get to invite local friends to tour the Temple, excited to live close to a Temple. Since moving to the valley we have lived closer but have not gone to the Temple in a long time, but now there is no reason not to go! Excited to have an amazing friend who is getting ready to go through the Temple for the first time, and later be sealed to her husband and 2 boys, and what a strength that is to me. What an amazing example she is to me, I am so excited for her, and cannot wait to go to the Temple with her. Since the Temple is in our area we had an opportunity to sign up to help at the open house, they needed ushers, tour guides, parking attendants, and people to help with the booties. Thomas and I signed up for a few things mostly because we just want to be there, whatever they need we want to do it!

Charly started school on Wednesday, her teacher is Mrs. Encarnacion.  Charly has been very excited to get to stay at school all day, as I am writing this it's Tuesday and she likes school, but she did not want to get out of bed this morning. That may have been because she was so tired last night but could not sleep so she talked to Thomas for about 20 minutes straight, about why she could not sleep. And I am reminded this is my daughter! She is amazing, smart, talk her way out of a box, and in for a tough few years. We love her though.

Time for bed, we shall talk later!

Nixon Lund

Nixon is three and a half, and really wants to be 15. He is a sweet boy most of the time, he loves to cuddle with me, and is very nice to Easton. He is very gentle with kids younger than him but boys older than him, that's a different story, it isn't that he is mean but we wants them to wrestle him, and often they have no desire to wrestle him. He also gets very mad, he doesn't express himself very well so he lets it build up and then gets really upset, I have no idea were he gets that from (me, its me), but most the time he is great.
He started pre-school this year at a co-op preschool that is held in different homes. He loves it, if we have a field trip, he gets upset because he wants to go to school. He loves super heroes, anything batman, superman, spider man, and sometimes the hulk, I think he can relate to him! Hahaha
He is very observant, he doesn't know kids names but he always recognizes other kids he knows from play group, meet up group, church, or pre school. And they are all his friends! He loves nursery, a teacher from nursery told me the other day that is so sweet, he will be playing by himself and a bunch of kids will start taking things away and he just sits there and lets them take it. A few weeks ago on the way from church he said a girl in a blue dress with polka dots punched me. So I worriedly asked what did you do, he replied nothing! Relief....Charly wanted more details, "What color were the dots, lots of colors?" NO! Charly they were white!
Nixon loves Charly and always wants to protect her and I love it, but he is even protective over her with me! He never wants her to be left out, if she is at school and he gets something he wants her to have it to. If he gets checks out a book or video at the library he wants to get her some too. I think its funny if a Barbie commercial comes on or something girly he always says charly wants that for her birthday or Christmas. He is very thoughtful, and although Charly can be she isn't as thoughtful as often!

First annual stucki Halloween party?

I Question mark because we hope we do this every year but who knows! This year we decided to have a Halloween party in our new city! We have made some friends and continue meeting really neat people that we want to be our friends, even if they don't!! 

One thing I worry about happening is being cliquish, I have felt left out before (now I realize this was my fault but it was a difficult lesson) and my desire is to have everyone feel included, I did learn that is very hard when you have a party at your house, that's a lot of people, but we tried. We invites some people from church and some people that are friends for other groups. We had a great turn out, we visited and chatted. We dressed up as Kellyu and Slater from Saved By The Bell, so this brought up a lot of discussion and trivia via Garin Austin(thank you), and we realized we are old some of our guests didn't know saved by the bell, but it was fun! We played a little catch phrase men vs women very fun! 

A very fun part about it is having our husbands, the women have girly gourmet and book club, etc and so our husbands often don't get to socialize and it seems like they enjoyed it! Here are some pictures 

I am missing one picture of Stephanie & I but I will update it when I get it! It was a lot of fun hopefully we can do it again next year!

Charly

    Charly Anne, my big 5 year old, is great! This year she started school, it is half day and we debated sending her to full day. The first few weeks she cried every time I dropped her off and I would literally have to push her through the door, and feeling like an awful mom. I emailed her teacher about volunteering at school and mentioned that Charly loves school but cries everyday, Mrs. Galluzzo says that as soon as they walk through the door she is fine! So on Friday of the first full week of school she gets in the car and is so sensitive, crying about everything, and then she says I don't want to go back to school anymore! I am an open minded person, I try and not let my past scare me in life now. I was abused as a young girl while at school and one of the parents said that her daughter started saying she didn't want to go to school. SO that is the first thing that came to mind, and it freaked me out! And then I talked to her and I remembered to not over react! And over the few months she has gotten better.
   So to sort of back track, Charly started the school year with Mrs. Galluzzo, but due to the amount of kids in full day they needed to move kids around, they divided all the classes into 3, and 1/3 of half day kids were traded with full day students. Charly was moved into Mrs. Musselman's class! To help with the transition (and Charly was still crying at this time) Charly could get a chocolate kiss and so would her other transferring classmates IF Charly did not cry! She did great fortunately. We went from crying, to not crying but no desire to go to the playground, we would just talk about all the backpacks that were lined up and which were cute, or pretty! Then we went into the gate and sat at the tables, and then she went and played one day but only if I held her backpack,she did not want to put it in the pile! She told me we could do a pattern one day she plays and one day she doesn't. We did that for a while and now we usually get there right as the bell is ringing.  And then at 1125 we pick her up in front of the school. She is always excited to see us! Yesterday she was talking about having to hurry on project because she had to go home, so I asked her if she wanted to started going all day. To my surprise she said, "No, I like coming home to spend time with my family." So half day still yeeah! Well sometimes!